Matilde was feeling nervous about getting a bruised knee in the tub tonight so I told her to squeeze my hand as she eased into the water. "Squeeze as tight as you need to," I told her, "that can take your attention away from the pain." I told her I always let doula clients squeeze my hand if they want to and that a whole lot of people (maybe 50 of them over the past decade!!!) have pushed out their babies while squeezing my hand. That was a good moment.
Birth work came long before parenting in my case and it's a struggle making them copacetic enterprises but that's my journey right now!